Bowen Family System - Leadership with Mercy

Bowen Family Systems Theory

Bowen Family Systems Theory is a comprehensive theory of human behavior grounded in the facts of evolution, natural science and clinical research.

The human evolved, develops and lives in the predictable emotional system of a multigenerational family. Psychotherapy and coaching based in Bowen theory offer powerful tools for the individual to optimize family and workplace relationships and advance personal life goals.

Bowen Theory emerged from the observations and research of the psychiatrist, Murray Bowen, M.D.

While training as a psychoanalyst at the Menninger Institute, Dr. Bowen realized that Freud’s theory of emotional illness was based in childhood memories, mythology and dreams. Trained as a surgeon, he set out to formulate a theory of human behavior based in science. In an NIMH-funded research project, he designed an in vivo study of symbiosis in mother and child by hospitalizing schizophrenic adult daughters and their mothers. The family system came into focus as the research team documented significant, predictable changes when the father visited. Dr. Bowen discovered that the mother-father-child triangle is the basic human emotional unit, not the individual or the dyad.

This became the cornerstone discovery of the multigenerational family as the primary influence on the life of the individual.

Bowen Theory is applied widely today in psychotherapy, leadership and organizational consultation and family business and enterprise consultation. The primary corrective emotional experience is between the client and family members. Bowen therapists and consultants function as coaches to clients as they navigate family and workplace emotional systems.

Serious practitioners of Bowen Theory undertake a lifelong effort in their own families and work systems.

My Journey with Bowen Family Systems Theory

My first introduction to Bowen Theory was in a Family Therapy course at UCLA. I applied Bowen Theory to patterns of alcoholism in four generations of my family. After graduating with my MSW and a divorce, I practiced psychodynamic group and individual therapy. At the same time, after a failed marital therapy in Milan Family Systemic Therapy, I entered a Reichian psychoanalysis for my own therapy.

Three years later, I returned to my hometown as a divorced, single mother. Despite my years of education and personal therapy, I realized that in the presence of my parents and siblings I could not do or say or blink an eyelid out of the lifelong role I had in the family. I found a book in the Psychotherapy Book Club titled “The Therapist’s Own Family”, ed. Peter Titelman. This compilation of applications of Bowen Theory to the therapist’s own family inspired me to look for a Bowen therapist in Vermont. A close friend and another colleague introduced me to Dr. Ann Bunting. Dr. Bunting had trained with Dr. Bowen at the Georgetown Family Center in Washington, D.C. With this I began my 32 year study of Bowen Theory and its application in my own family, in a coaching psychotherapy practice, organizations, business, faith communities and higher education.

I trained in the Special Postgraduate Program at the Georgetown Family Center (now the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family) and began to participate in an international network of Bowen practitioners and educators. As the Founding President of the Vermont Center for the Study of the Family in 1997, I joined colleagues to provide regional professional education in Bowen Theory. Since 2016 I have participated as a co-leader in online seminars in Programs for Bowen Theory directed by Laura Havstad, Ph.D. in norther California.

Now in Scottsdale, Arizona, I look forward to meeting and collaborating with others in the Southwest who are interested in a comprehensive, powerful approach to understanding human behavior.

EIGHT BASIC CONCEPTS OF BOWEN THEORY

1. Levels of Differentiation of Self – The individual experiences two opposing forces: the need for togetherness and the need for independence. The balance of each force is established early in life in the primary relationships with mother and father. Differentiation of self is the degree to which an individual can think and act for self with the universal need for social dependence. Individuals with higher levels of differentiation of self have a better chance for stable life course and goal achievement.
2. The Nuclear Family – Four basic patterns describe how anxiety is contained in the family unit: dysfunction in a spouse, dysfunction in a child, marital conflict and emotional distance.
3. Family Projection Process – In a natural universal process, parents relate to their children as extensions of self. In this way, they pass along their basic life anxiety to their children. When the parent can see the child realistically as a separate competent individual, the child absorbs less parental anxiety and can function well toward their own life goals.
4. Multigenerational Transmission Process – Chronic, deep-seated life anxiety is passed down the generations in observable and predictable patterns. Understanding and relating to the life experiences of family members in previous generations illuminates challenges and resources for the current generations.
5. Sibling Position – Adopted from Walter Toman, MD, this concept describes common patterns of personality and relationship tendencies in individuals and with significant others including spouses, based on sibling position. I call this Bowen Theory’s personality concept.
6. Triangles – Each individual lives in a network of triangles. Dyads are inherently unstable, like a two-legged stool. The triangle stabilizes important relationship units. When anxiety is low, the triangle can be quiet with each person relating calmly to the other two. When anxiety is high, two join together with the third on the outside. This creates calm for the dyad and transfers anxiety to the outside one. A good therapist or coach brings calm and the capacity for thoughtful action to the conflictual or anxious dyad by staying neutral and not taking sides.
7. Emotional Cutoff – Anxiety in the multigenerational family is often bound with emotional cutoff. This natural process gives short term relief to conflict. However, over generations, this lack of emotional contact prevents the proper discharge of anxiety. The anxiety is then absorbed in symptoms and difficulty navigating life for members of future generations. When one can bridge an intergenerational cutoff, pressure in the marriage or nuclear family subsides.
8. Societal Emotional Process – The family emotional system radiates through society, creating similar social patterns. This results in periods of social progression and regression, just as in the multigenerational family system.

Resources

www.thebowencenter.org

www.vermontcenterforfamilystudies.org

www.programsinbowentheory.org

When I come up against challenging situations at work and in my family, Mercy has always has practical, positive suggestions for how I can position myself differently in my relationships. I find her ideas very effective.

She does not give me the answers to my problems, but better yet, guides me to help me uncover the solutions that I overlook when overwhelmed with the situation at hand.

This has helped me to become a better listener, leader, mentor, and friend.

Mercy is a leadership mentor who inspires clients to lead themselves through relationship challenges. She inspires you to step beyond your role as manager, administrator, and parent and re-discover your unique gifts, and experience a renewed sense of purpose.

Bowen Family Systems Theory is a comprehensive theory of human behavior grounded in the facts of evolution, natural science and clinical research.

My Journey with Bowen Family Systems Theory

EIGHT BASIC CONCEPTS OF BOWEN THEORY

Resources

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